Sometimes...

Sometimes (tonight) I have a lot of stuff to do (laundry washing/folding, a kitchen counter covered in crap, homework), but all I can manage to do is watch 'Far and Away', paint my toe nails, and eat ice cream.

After a long day of work I met K at a friend's house where we had dinner and hung out for awhile.  By the time we got home, I was so tired that I couldn't imagine myself doing anything other than taking off my bra (I seriously hate those things), showering, and sitting on the couch.  I did all three of those things, but as soon as I got to the couch I started looking around and my to-do list was staring me straight in the face.

(The problem with living in an apartment/small space is that when everything is compact, one small mess seems HUGE.  Everything else can be clean as a whistle but if your kitchen counter is a mess, everything seems to be a mess.)

So, I sat there, my various messes and unfolded basket of laundry staring me in the face, and I surrendered. I could not defeat them.  Not tonight.  I turned to K (who seemed to have no problem with the mess and was happily playing 'Call of Duty') and told him all I wanted was to go lie down and read my book, and he said "Go for it."

K and I have no children, no pets, and no real responsibilities other than our jobs and each other.  Obviously we have bills to pay, meals to cook, and an apartment to keep clean, but no one is relying on us for their well-being.  We just have to take care of ourselves and each other.

So I wonder, when all I've done is make it to the end of my 9-hour day at the end of my work week, why can I only bring myself to veg out on the couch?  My mom seems to easily pull off 10+ hour days for weeks, work all day outside on the weekends while watching my 4-year old nephew for half a weekend, and put up with a hormonal teenager who is a freshman in high school (sorry Little Sister, you know I love you).  She jets off to the other side of the country to visit my older sister and her family for only 48 hours before she is back on a plane and at work the next morning.  She has time for my phone calls at any hour when I need to know if I need to have exactly 2 lbs. of chicken thighs to make adobo, or if the 1.5 lbs is okay (because it's all I have).  And I wonder, how DOES she do it?  I guess I won't know how women like her manage to tirelessly do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE, sacrificing their couch potato time for every little thing their children need.  I probably won't understand it until I have children (or pets) of my own, people (or animals) that rely solely on me to survive.

Someday, when we're ready, there will be a dog or cat or baby (or a combo of the 3) and I'm sure I will gladly give up my tv time to fold laundry while a baby naps, or take a dog for a walk when I would rather take a nap, but right now I'm just going to keep watching 'Far and Away' and enjoying the fact that K and I don't have anybody expecting anything from us.

And I'll leave the cleaning for tomorrow, because sometimes you just gotta be lazy.