First, I'll say that it is amazing what two professional movers can do in the span of 6 hours. Our apartment went from this...
To this...
And into those crates...
in SIX HOURS. It was like magic. And I felt like a complete jerk watching them lug all of our stuff into boxes and up/down a flight of stairs and I wasn't allowed (for insurance reasons, not because I didn't offer) to lift a finger all day. (But we did buy them lunch, so that counts for something, right?)
After we said goodbye to our little home, took a very scenic route to Northern California, and spent a week visiting family and friends, the dreaded day came where I had to say goodbye to K. Yesterday afternoon we went to breakfast and then I took him to the airport. It was emotional and awful, and every bad thing that I knew it would be. There were tears and snot, and me unwilling to let go of him. But as much as I begged the clock to stop ticking, the time came and he had to go. You'd think that the fact that we were long-distance for 5 years and have said "See ya later" to each other in airports countless times before this would have made me a pro at these goodbyes... it didn't. It never gets easier, and this one is so different from all of the other times we've had to leave each other. K respectfully asked that after we said goodbye I "charge on" and leave the airport so that I wouldn't be standing alone, crying in an airport. I did as he asked, but mostly I was just crying as I walked alone in an airport.
Now it's the next day, and I seemed to have survived my first full day without him. Right now I am feeling disconnected and fragile. I'm not quite ready to be around anyone and have been avoiding my family. It's nothing personal, I'm just not ready to talk, and it's difficult when I cry at the drop of a hat.
K has been in Vegas staying with a friend, and tomorrow he begins the real journey. We have a sort of rough itinerary of how he'll get to Iraq, but no clue when/how long he will be stopping at any given location. I am angry that I can't just know where he'll be and when and that this whole process feels so unorganized. (Actually, it IS unorganized.) I've been trying to comfort myself with the thought that at least we've actually made it to this point, instead of living with it over our heads. We're here, we're doing this, and the sooner it gets going, the sooner it can be over.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about K leaving. I remember going through that and it was awful. I sobbed through the entire airport and the entire drive home and then I cried myself to sleep. But I promise it gets easier. There will be times where it'll be tough (like after the first phone call) and you'll probably cry some more. But nothing will be as bad as the airport. You're strong and you have your family there to support you through everything. Take some time for yourself and then let them in.
Make sure you keep yourself busy while he's gone. Start some classes, work, whatever you need to do to busy your mind so you're not just sitting at home, watching chick flicks and eating cheetos everyday (I may or may not have engaged in such activities...). Time will fly once you get on a schedule.
And until that schedule starts, make sure you have a netflix account and get some serious movie watching in. :P
PS - You could always drive up and visit me! :)
I am so sorry that K has left. I can't imagine what that must be like for you guys. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteStephanie! I just had the greatest Idea! You should call up the Y and go play with kids all summer. How fun would that be! You could do the caravans.......! Lol im half kidding but half serious!
ReplyDeleteStay strong stephanie, you know thats what he would want! Take it one day at a time and write and blog often. We are all here for you and will keep you in our thoughts!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the love ladies! It's great to know that K and I have so many people to love and support us both!
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