Ummm... awkward!

The truth is, life is really just a series of awkward moments.

Allow me to present...

Exhibit 1:  I started my morning with a quick Starbucks run before work.  I place my order and then eagerly await the arrival of my drink at the pick-up counter.  30 seconds later I see the barista start to call out the next drink, and because I am in a hurry and I am supposed to be next, I hurtle myself towards the counter, tripping over myself on the way.  One embarrassing trip behind me, and then comes Awkward Moment #2: the barista looks at me and says quite loudly "That's not yours" as I'm grabbing the drink.  The man who the drink does belong to reaches beside me for it and gives us Awkward Moment #3 in which I bump into him in my hurry to step away from the counter.  At this point I looked like completely whacked out to everyone in Starbucks, but I apologized to the man and went back to waiting patiently.  My drink arrives and on my way out I am maneuvering through the door, drink, keys, and muffin in hand, and you can probably guess what happens next... the extremely heavy door shuts on me, nearly toppling my coffee from my grasp.  And there were people sitting on both sides of the door to witness my grand exit.  It was only 6:30 am.

Exhibit 2:  I managed to inform my boss today that I have never had explosive diarrhea.  Don't ask.

Exhibit 3:  After work I had an appointment for an ultrasound on my chest, and as the tech gets started, I start giggling and jerking around because I am so ticklish.  She says "It's okay, you're doing great."  And for some reason, this little gem comes flying out of my mouth: "I've had people feel me up so often, you think I'd be used to it."  Now, from a medical standpoint, this is true.  But when you say it to a complete stranger,  it makes things uncomfortable.  Especially when you're naked from the waist up.

Case closed.